It’s that time of year again when people all over the world get asked that dreaded question. Fear not men, it isn’t a question about whether you’re ready to commit to a relationship, it’s that OTHER dreaded question which causes headaches for millions of people; what do you want for Christmas?
As soon as those daunting six words are uttered, we’re immediately on the back foot and our mind scrambles frantically as the question poser stares intently at you, waiting for you to reveal a long list of things you want. In reality, at that very moment, all we want for Christmas is an idea to tell this person about what we want for Christmas. Of course, we have a readymade response ready and as we stare back at that awful person who has caused us this mental trauma we reply with the classic ‘I dunno’. Simple yet effective and it’s bought us a bit of time, time which we won’t use to think about what we want, there are far more important things to think about, like what’s for dinner or what’s on the television.
It’s hard to believe that we as a nation are so content in our lives, that there is NOTHING we want at all for Christmas....well at least it’ll be a cheap year this year. Truly, we have all moved on as a nation if we are more than happy to sit around a table with our nearest and dearest, listening to the grating tones of the mother in law as she rambles on for the twelfth consecutive year about how lucky we all are and how life was so different during the war. Even the stories are exactly the same...in the same order and we all just nod our heads and smile at her, hoping that soon the excessive amount of wine she consumed in between talking will soon kick in and send her off to sleep. Well they say Christmas is the season of hope and joy.....
So come on then Britain, let’s get over our fears of this question and at least try and have a good go at answering it. Despite a staggering 60% of all interviewees first response to this question being the classic ‘I dunno’ followed by the extremely revealing blank stare as they search for something to say to try and redeem themselves, we were able to extract some answers from you.....eventually.
Such was the variety in what Britain requested this year that dear old Saint Nick’s workshop will require more labour than a Victorian cloth factory. However, we’re in the midst of a recession and Santa can’t afford to pay his workers so don’t be surprised when your presents turn up in the back of a van, courtesy of eBay, rather than in a sleigh. Look on the bright side, at least a senior citizen won’t be breaking and entering into your house this year.
Your requests ranged from the fickle, to the affordable to the absurd and included such things as the usual electronic gadgets which work a treat on Christmas Day and then decide to break down in the late evening so you have to spend Boxing Day slowly shuffling forward in a queue, receipt in hand, to take back what you thought to be such an ‘original and useful’ gift along with all the other people who had the misfortune to think along the same lines as you. Isn’t uniqueness a wonderful thing?
Well it will be a cheap Christmas for some of us at any rate, one interviewee wants the number of the ‘fit guy’ she saw out when in Town two evenings ago. Unfortunately for her, Santa can’t give her that as a little something known as the Data Protection Act exists and unless Mr Claus wants to see in the New Year from behind bars, he will give this young lady the next best thing, a sprig of mistletoe and some detective equipment so she can track him down. At least she can experience the fun of the chase instead...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment